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Posts Tagged ‘American family lifestyles’

I have a worry. Even at this time of year, the holiday season I have always loved, I need to share it.

I am concerned because of the blood guilt America has stored up for herself as a country. Or an ideology if you will because America is more of an idea than a place.

Yes. America is guilty of the shedding of innocent blood, specifically, the blood of her own children which she sacrifices, without regard to race or gender, to the false god of Education. I cringe when I hear the talking heads yak about evil terrorists and the havoc they are supposedly wreaking, as if modern society did not in fact earn such a fate.

In the sixties, it became fashionable in the public schools of America to denigrate and ignore the emotional needs of the young men in our country.  This has to stop. It is a vicious practice that wounds both genders unnecessarily. Our young people no longer have the ability to nurture and maintain a healthy marital relationship and our schools are chiefly to blame. Take a look at some of my previous posts on the subject —

http://wp.me/p1BaiG-6T

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As we go into a new year, with a new president, let us re-examine the public noise about education. Let us rethink legislation and ideologies concerned with it. The growing young men and women of America are being emotionally brutalized by our educational “system” and America is guilty.

In this season of giving, which many of us celebrate with pretty colored lights on and in our homes, let us prepare our minds for the changes we need to make in order to give our children light in the emotional darkness we have allowed to be self-created.

A. Farwell

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Have a cool Yule everyone, and a prosperous New Year. Whatever your religion. To those non-christians who are nearest my heart, thanks so much for all your help and support. To those who follow Christianity and help me anyway, may your lives be blessed. To those who still regard me with rage and enmity because I don’t conform to their personal dogmas on either side of these two, may the coming year bring you all that you deserve.

A. Farwell

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This is a short post in praise of the men of my tribe. The hardworking Caucasian men responsible for the founding of these United States of America. I am just personally tired of hearing them slandered by political cheap shot artists. Caucasian men have set the standard for personal and national liberty that all of us, of whatever gender and ethnic background we may be, do currently enjoy in this great and bountiful land we call home. Their blood has gone into the life of this country. Their thought, standards, and sheer courage and persistence in battle have offered hope to the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The sacrifice of the women who loved and supported them has gone into it’s heart. The respect of their sons and the love of their daughters has enabled this courage to be passed down through the generations that have continued to hold this nation up in times of trial and cultural slander.

These men respected their women — their wives, mothers, daughters, aunts, even cousins and worked to support them so that they would not have to deal with the roughness and often sexually offensive atmosphere of a man’s world. They did this because they were decent men, and kind, and had some tenderness of heart where their women were concerned. They were not chauvinistic. They were loving fathers, husbands and brothers.  They had a very good reason for wanting their wives and daughters to stay home.

When it comes to the extent of sexual pressures experienced growing up there is no such thing as equality. Young men get the hormonal crap beaten out of them while young women basically cruise and snooze in comparison. Men need their outlets of speech and humor to bear the load of sexual pressure with which they are afflicted from puberty, which is why they didn’t want females in their so-called male only occupations and why they did not encourage co-education at the university level.  They had no wish to be offensive and back in the day, men were very careful about how they spoke and acted around the ladies in social situations. With the onset of Women’s Liberation in the sixties, an astonishingly small group of females with serious gender issues of their own made enough public noise to over ride the protests of these men and look at the result.

We are missing our men, here in the land of the free. But more precisely still, we are missing our fathers. The decent fathers who do not just stand by with their mouths shut while political and educational pimps of both genders soil the emotional health of our children for the sake of their own vanity and the cheapest sort of political grandstanding.

Men need to be respected, because they are men. Their sexual and emotional needs are not to be made a subject of public derision or censure, neither are they to be considered any kind of crime. Their ability to lead with courage and honor is not ever going to be replaced by feminism.

Sexual modesty is, essentially, a masculine virtue. Think about this for thirty seconds or so and you will see that this is true. With the subverting of gentlemen in our society and all that term signifies, we are left with the flesh – flashing whorish climate of today. Our young people are not flourishing in it.

The last word? I am proud of my guys. They have a long history of beating tyranny in whatever form it takes, Feminism is one such and we will beat that too. Because although our men have been put on the front lines of this gender war by the emotionally unstable, our history of helping each other when times get tough will see us through. There is nothing wrong here that cannot be solved quite readily with cooperation  between genuinely considerate adult men and women,  whatever ethnic origin they may be.

How about a little grace here, people.

Alieff Farwell

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Since this type of thing seems to be growing and spreading in our society, we should all take a few minutes to analyze just why this may be so. How do we combat something like this? What is the root cause?

Well, the root cause is lack of natural affection during childhood and adolescence. It really is this simple, people. Combine this with the excessive sexual pressures we subject our adolescents to in the public school system by not adequately supervising them at such a crucial stage in their personal development and you have a great and efficient recipe for social disaster.

All of this traces back to the lack of nurturing.(http://wp.me/p1BaiG-5m) Nowadays, it is the accepted procedure for mothers to deliver in the hospitals and send their newborns almost directly into daycare because Mom has to get back to her real job. There is absolutely no attempt made at nurturing, no personal family bonds are being created. This is very, very bad.

As I have said before, emotional fulfillment is the most important aspect of sentient life and the basis for it is found in our birth families. If they fail to nurture us sufficiently in this respect, we are set up for failure in the rest of our life relationships. Recognizing this early lack can be a great help in processing the way we react to others in our adult lives and in clarifying our relationship choices. Let us consider a few basic facts of emotional life for humans.

1. The expression of natural affection from parent to child(not vice versa) is the blueprint upon which all of us map the course of our life relationships. This is how we learn to show caring and affection and consideration for others, regardless of gender. It is the only relationship we know that does not have an element of sexuality in it. It is not supposed to and if it does, in the form of molestation, it is the worst horror our society knows.

2. We all bond more closely with members of our own sex. This is a perfectly natural thing. Men and women process information in different ways and we are all more socially comfortable with people who think the way we do. We have more in common with members of our own gender on a day-to-day basis, therefore we seek them first when looking for a stable and fulfilling social environment.

3. The lack of natural, affectionate nurturing in childhood leaves us vulnerable (extremely) as we mature into our respective versions of adult sexuality. Physical intimacy becomes a substitute for this first and most important relationship in our lives and since the substitution has no real validity, the sexual relationship fails the minute the “new” wears off.

Sex is a wonderful and important thing to most of us. In an adult relationship, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, trusting that the other person will not betray us, or desert us, or fail to consider our personal needs along with or sometimes even ahead of their own. Because you see, that is what our parents were supposed to do for us and mostly, did not. And that is what most of us are now seeking in an adult, sexual relationship. So. Is this expectation valid?

My opinion? Yes, the expectation is valid. The sense of protection and care we receive from our parents is the pattern on which we base the relationships of our adult life—all of them. This is the way it is supposed to be. There is no sexual orientation to this pattern, also the way it is supposed to be. The sexuality comes later, in adolescence and adulthood. Again, the way it is supposed to. We have raised up several generations of children who have no sense of their sexual orientation because they are all stuck in this childhood mode since it was never supplied to them when it was most needed. When they enter adolescence they combine the two, which is neither surprising or acceptable, either one.

The problem comes from our inherited emotional poverty. After the new wears off of a relationship we have two emotionally deprived people who sit there and wait for the other guy to step up and be the grown up. This is so very seldom the case. And after x number of failed relationships, many people begin to look at other options for that sense of emotional fulfillment that has been lacking in their lives heretofore. For this, they fall back on the premise I listed above as emotional fact of life #2. We all bond more closely with members of our own gender. This particular process is especially seen in women. I have noticed that many women turn “gay” in their thirties and forties after failed marriages and several children.

3. The lack of emotional fulfillment in childhood increases the sense of sexual need in the adolescent. This is especially true for young men. Their entrance into puberty is exclusively sexual, rampant, and since it is not being covered in our society by any type of adult amelioration, particularly emotionally shredding for them.

During adolescence we are looking about us and finding our place in this world, both as citizens and as sexual adults. Given the total lack of nurturing and natural affection we are starting our children out in life with, it is not surprising to me that so many of them are combining their emergent adolescent sexuality with their more important need for social integration and acceptance and supposing themselves to be “naturally gay” or “born that way” simply because American society totally ignores their basic emotional needs from birth. We are sacrificing our young on the altar of the Great God of Education and ignoring their most human needs.

After these poor, parentless people have turned to a sexual relationship with a member of their own gender in an attempt to supply the normal social intercourse that has been lacking in their lives, they continue their quest for acceptance, which has not been met by their same-sex relationship, by insisting that all the world condone what they have done by public legislation. And the American Christian conservative public is protesting in great horror at the unnatural relationships which their own ignorance and neglect have fostered. I don’t know about ya’ll but I call this a homemade mess. Now let’s look at the physical aspects of this question.

1. What feels good physically, feels good no matter who is doing it. This fact has added its two cents to the emotional mess of same-sex relationships. There is nothing wrong with sex. That is a fact. So what can be wrong with having sex with anyone, regardless of their gender? Can you answer this one? The several generations of young American men and women who have been deprived of their natural affection compass by our current cultural process are particularly vulnerable here. Most of us emerge into adulthood with both social and sexual needs and since the first is not met in any way, the second has become the slide rule used to determine social value. Not a good idea.

2. Lack of sexual satisfaction is common to both genders in their physical relationships. This is also a fact. Many men have been seduced into homosexual relationships simply because their basic physical needs are not being met by women. What does it say about us as a society that our sons feel they have to go to other men? And what about our daughters? Having to rely on men who have been both emotionally and sexually brutalized during their most sensitive years does not provide them with a reliable adult partner, physically or any other way.

This is because we do not give either gender of our children any advice or training about what should be happening in their bedrooms. Americans tend to be very puritanical about the subject generally. For the life of me, I can’t understand why. The subject certainly requires a sense of modesty, but this guilt ridden, hush-hush, leave your kids to get on as best they can mentality is beyond belief for intelligent beings. Sex is a normal function of life and should be treated as such and yet Americans still purvey this bad, guilty attitude to their children. We need to start imbuing them with the more correct notion that sex in itself is not bad, using other people to wipe your behind sexually, that is bad.

While sexual urges are common to both genders, the motivations for those urges are not the same, at all. For men the urges are predominantly physical, for women they tend to be emotional while in both cases there are elements of both factors. This does not make an easy mix to deal with.

From all the available evidence, neither gender seems to be satisfied with the current arrangement so they have taken to same-sex relationships in an attempt to complete their own needs. This is not working either. Domestic violence and bad emotional breakups are more common in same-sex relationships than they are in heterosexual ones, per couple. The LGBT is not publicizing this fact however. I am writing this in case any of you are thinking that a same-sex lover is going to be your ticket to emotional nirvana. NOT!

I am now going to write a very dirty word. It is a word you do not ever hear anymore, it being so very bad. Tenderness. This word is worse than libido, penis, lust, or even, low be it spoken, desire. It is not a word we allow ourselves to think anymore, let alone speak. Tenderness is supposed to be an integral part of our human emotional experience and it is no longer. It has been replaced by words like “hot.” Someone attractive to the opposite(or same) sex is spoken of as being “hot.” If someone expresses an interest in you, you are being “hit on.” This is intrinsically violent in implication. Our adult sexual needs have been reduced to this on the public level, heat and violence.

Without the natural affection and nurturing of childhood, tenderness has departed from every aspect of our adult lives, not just the sexual aspect. No one has cared for the tenderness of children, there is no allowance made for it in our public educational system. We go into daycare, almost from the moment of birth, into pre-K programs, then into twelve years of grammar and high school. We spend most of our child lives trying to cope with strangers. Is it any wonder that so many are turning to same-sex relationships in an attempt to feel that social bonding that is normal? The method is not going to work, but the motivation is understandable. Sex and affection are not the same thing. How are we going to re-instill this basic fact into such lost children as we have raised?

Alieff Farwell

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With the rise of Women’s Suffrage and the ongoing march of Women’s Liberation, we have lost sight of some very basic values. The importance of feelings. Does this statement sound to you like an oxymoron? It’s not. I will explain.

Emotional fulfillment is the most important aspect of our lives as sentient beings. It is not sexual fulfillment, it is not financial “success,” it is not the acquiring of a higher educational degree. The need for refined, emotional fulfillment is what separates us from the other animals whose needs are much more rudimentary and essentially physical in nature. Emotional fulfillment is supplied by others who care about you as a person, people who are genuinely interested in the highs and lows of your life everyday, both the small and the large. The process of fulfillment is completed by your returning of these interests to those who supply them to you. As of this date, the 14th of April in the year 2013 Current Era, America has more college graduates and less emotionally fulfilled citizens than any other country in the history of this planet.  Let us now trace the cause of this phenomenon. It comes in two installments.

Part one. The Wife and Mother or — Displaced Homemakers.

Women are the emotional heart of the family. Our ability to empathize makes us invaluable as emotional supporters wherever needed. Being a wife and mother is a bona-fide career. To excel at anything, one must pursue it as a life focus. You do not hear of an eminent neurosurgeon who is also a world-renowned astrophysicist. The reason that men have never wished for their wives to also have a career is that she will be the emotional center of their home. He provides the money to support the home and she provides the emotional fulfillment. If she has to work outside the home, all of that emotional fulfillment will be missing. And nowadays, it is. It is only within the last forty years that our society has deliberately turned it’s face away from the vital importance of the role of wife and mother. This desertion has been engineered by other women. Men really had nothing to do with it.

Women’s Suffrage and Liberation have insisted that all female children born in this country be groomed for high-powered careers outside the home.(whether they want it or not) This notion is not powered by a wish for the girls well-being or personal fulfillment. It is based on the feminist teaching that as husbands and providers, men are not to be trusted so every female must be financially independent of all men. This is what we are currently teaching our girls in our educational process.  Being a wife and mother is a minimum-wage type of thing to a Feminist chiefly because it involves a healthy and trusting relationship with a man and Feminists are afraid of, and hate, men. If they want to live their lives based on fear and hate that is their prerogative but why are we letting them teach their personal poisons to our daughters via the schools?

Part two. The Husband and Father or — Displaced Husbands.

Back in the sixties when women’s lib was getting under way one of their battle cries was– “men have a career and a marriage so why can’t women? It’s not fair!” I addressed this issue in the above paragraphs. I know whereof I speak here because I had a front row seat for this bout. This  is the year 2013 CE and the decision is in. The American family unit lost on points. The sixties generation of females got what they thought they wanted–careers. The husband is now an after thought. It has been especially informative to follow the husbands that have been ‘supportive’ of her ‘career.’ I have listened to so many brag about that. Until they found he was having an affair with his co-worker because ‘she made him feel special.’  That really was the wife’s job you know, but she was so busy being liberated and supported and career oriented that she paid no attention to his emotional needs. And you know what? It was all his fault for being unfaithful.

This post is about the importance of feelings and I am stating here that men have feelings too. They need to feel needed. Anyone does. Being the provider for the family is really the only way a decent man has of showing his love in a practical hands-on manner. It is especially important to him in his feelings as a husband. We have allowed our daughters to be taught to despise their husbands feelings and needs as being only ‘male ego’ and unworthy of notice. Since the onset of women’s liberation it has become a point of honor with many females to totally ignore the emotional needs of the men in their lives. It really has. Is this humane? Is this an appropriate response to perceived gender issues? Is this what ‘liberation’ has done for females as a whole? So, now we have lots of divorced female wage earners with a career who are really struggling to provide for their fatherless children all alone and about ninety percent of the time this situation has been engineered by the women themselves. This is the financial independence that their schooling taught them to seek. The women are unhappy, their children are unhappy, and the men who have been driven out of their position as husband, provider and father by the totally unrealistic expectations of the women they married are more unhappy than the rest. Yes, most of these men are unhappy with being divorced from their homes and children.

So what’s the bottom line here? The young women of America, our future wives and mothers are being emotional brutalized themselves by our educational system and it’s expectations of them. The Feminist agenda thought to change the world by changing the way our daughters are educated. They thought that by teaching young girls to be assertive, competitive, emotionally hard-boiled, and financially self-centered they would really “show” the evil man’s world what was what and be better off themselves. And just look at the mess they have made.

If a young girl really is motivated towards a career instead of marriage, by all means support her choice. But we need to stop selling our girls the notion that they have to do both. We need to re-instill in our girls the sense of respect for marriage and motherhood that is natural to them and allow room for it to develop. The last forty years have been artificially induced by a small set of unbalanced feminine minds and we are quite capable of seeing that this stops so that our future husbands, wives, and children have a stable home where the importance of everybody’s feelings are given the right attention.

Alieff Farwell

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In order to continue with my adult sensitivity training we will first need some historical background. My specialty.

What we are dealing with here is a mind-set. People emigrated to America looking for a better future for themselves and their families. Basically, this means money, ergo, financial prosperity. Nothing wrong with wanting that. The tenth commandment says thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house etc.. It does not say thou shalt not covet a house of your own.

So most of the early immigrants were not prosperous home owners in the old country, which ever that was. The largest part of them were from comparatively poor backgrounds and that means they had an underdog mentality. They viewed themselves as less than their more prosperous neighbors and all their efforts in life in the New World were directed to eradicating this difference. This mentality became the American Dream.

These lower class immigrants saw that their more prosperous neighbors owned their own homes and sent their sons to college and they felt socially intimidated by them.  They also told themselves that since these more prosperous neighbors did not work mainly with their hands, they really did not work at all. This is not true of course. Having to work with your head is even more difficult than having to labor with your hands, but those who had to work with their hands bolstered their self-respect mainly by ignoring this fact of life. So the American Dream became a muddled mix of these three lower class ideas—if you work hard and go to college, you will be able to own your own home, thus you will become upper class yourself. This notion is based on a lack of self-respect and represents the very muddled thinking of the have-nots’. Any man or woman who lives decently with their families and neighbors and has consideration for the needs of others is a wealthy person—regardless of their income.

You see, poverty is not really about money. It is about emotional destitution. Emotional destitution cannot be cured with either money or college. People are poor because they have no self-respect, not because they do not have a six figure income and a diversified stock portfolio. Slopping four years of college over such people will not eradicate their poverty-stricken mentality and standing by while they ram college down their children’s throats has not produced a stable, wealthy, upper class population. Almost all of you who may happen to read this are victims of this muddled have-not agenda.  It won’t do any good to find fault with your parents at this late date but it will help you enormously to admit this to yourself. Here is what your parents should have done for you. If they did not do these things, you will know why your adult years have been so hard even if you did graduate from college.

It is a responsibility of parents to provide for their children and to do what they can to give them a good start in life. It is also their responsibility to tell their children what they are doing for them and why, especially when they are old enough to understand some of the work involved. This is how you teach children to be good parents themselves. Telling children the what and why of how you have provided for them is far more important than the amount of the provision itself. It is not necessary to leave them independently wealthy. It is necessary that they understand you have done what you could. This is solid proof that you love and care for them. This more than anything else will send them into their adult responsibilities with a sense of wealth behind them, irrespective of material things.

It is also a parental responsibility to aid you in selecting a partner in life. Did your parents do any entertaining for you when you were in your teen years or did they just send you out, alone, on “dates” where all the responsibility fell on you? Did your parents have a nest egg saved for you so you would have something to start your adult life with? Or did they just yak about going to college and expect you to go into debt for it yourself? Did they leave you the family home when they passed on so that you would not have to pay a mortgage yourself? Did they even consider doing so? Did they ever discuss with you in your later teen years what they had put by and how they hoped it would make your life a little easier? Did they explain to you why it was usual for the husband to be the wage earner for the family and the wife to devote her time to caring for the home and children? Did they tell you why the wife was to be respected and acknowledged for her efforts and the husband for his? The family is the major source of emotional fulfillment in our lives, not marriage. Marriage is a sexual relationship, an adult responsibility and although it has a fulfillment of it’s own to offer, it is also a chore. If your family did not provide you with any sense of loving care as a child, you will be ill prepared to support a marriage emotionally. How well did your family provide for you so that you could go into a marriage with something to offer your spouse? This is what parenting is all about. And as strange as this may sound, acknowledging these things now will provide you with a sense of emotional wealth although your parents did none of them for you. You can start with your own children. Even if they are adults.

The reason I have called this Adult Sensitivity Training is because as adults you need to be sensitive to the fact that most of you were left totally alone as children. Emotionally, financially alone. This is the reason for the divorces, the multiple “relationships” that “didn’t work out,” the fear of commitment that so many of you have.  Your parents did not even dimly consider their responsibility to you and this set up a legacy of emotional poverty. That hurt you back then but because you were just children, you could not articulate that hurt. The healing process will begin when you acknowledge the reason for the big black hole of your childhood years.

Now that you are adults, you need someone to be sensitive about your needs and to understand how hard your adult lives have been because of that parental lack and even though there are literally millions of you and only one of me—I’ve got you covered.

A. Farwell

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One of the reasons I tend to go on so about modern women’s issues is that I believe we are missing a very crucial point. And this goes back to the very beginning of the “Emancipation” movement of the 1800’s. Women were not allowed to do so many things back in the day. Voting was the very least of them although that made the most noise.
My view about women’s issues is this—
Of course we have brains as good as any mans. We can and did replace them in every hands on job the World War II effort needed while the men were away fighting to prevent Hitler taking over the world. They did what they had to and we did the same.
The real point to my mind is—- men cannot replace us. Certainly in motherhood. But look at our lives today and envision the life your young daughters are going to have. Graceless, restless, full of the cheapest public sexuality that demeans both men and women. Here is a news flash ladies, decent men don’t love the notion of being treated like a mindless stud animal any more than women want to be treated like breeding stock. Yes, there are decent men around. Look for the guy with his mouth shut.
This is the year 2011. I think we’ve made our point girls. Yes, we are fully capable of being scientists and doctors. Men however, are still not capable of being mothers and our homes are now a travesty. We are missing the stability, grace, and nurturing environment in our homes and therefore our communities that only full-time wives and mothers can provide. Men cannot replace us in this field. I think a woman should be able to pursue a career if she so chooses and I think we have pretty much got that issue licked now. But look at our country. Men are still working and being fathers and providers. That has not changed. We have so much trouble and unrest, especially among our children because we are all missing the efforts or our full-time moms. To her husband, children, and community, the full-time mother is irreplaceable.
I hope that women growing up today will now find the self-respect they felt cheated of in past generations. I hope that those girls who choose to be a wife and mother will commit themselves full-time to the job with a true understanding of just how irreplaceable they really are. Maybe then we can start to rebuild our homes, communities, and country.

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